I came across this article from 2018 and it really spoke to me as a late-diagnosed autistic only just learning what “comfortable” feels like.
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Discomfort stimulates growth, but the actual growth happens during periods of recovery. That is true of the body, and I have little doubt it is true of the mind, as well. I’m not saying people should never step out of their comfort zone. But just like we shouldn’t be judging people at the gym because, from our perspective, they should be able to do more, we should be extending compassion to those of us who have difficulties in the mind, particularly considering we can only know our own perspective, not theirs. I mean, you wouldn’t expect a guy in a wheel chair to be doing leg presses, would you?
Yeah I agree. Getting out of your comfort zone simply conditions yourself to feeling uncomfortable, but simply doing it isn’t going to get you the things that you want. If you tag along as a fifth wheel to parties and stand around but don’t actually like being there, you’re out of your comfort zone but you’re not actually gaining anything. You aren’t going to make friends or find a girlfriend by standing in the corner.
You also need to approach with compassion and I agree that we should moderate our expectation. Someone who has been a shut-in would be making a lot of progress just by going out to a party once.
