Why can’t we just be ourselves, without NTs imposing judgement on us? Sometimes I feel like I’m expected to act NT, when I feel like it shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s very frustrating for me. So what if I don’t know how to add to a conversation, or if I avoid eye contact, or if I don’t like people trying to make eye contact with me for too long? Can’t I just share that I’m autistic, and be given my own autonomy? I really don’t like when NT standards are imposed on me. It makes me angry.
99% nobody is judging you.
I check too many boxes here
That’s because most of those are super normal things that almost nobody cares about.
Same…
Image Transcription: Tumblr
lifeinautismworld
“Autistic people are too sensitive.”
Meanwhile, here’s a list of things that offend allistic people.
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not making eye contact
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wanting to be left alone
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not wanting to take part in a conversation
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using the wrong tone
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showing the wrong amount of excitement
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pointing instead of using words
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not wanting to be touched
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not wanting to eat certain foods
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wearing earplugs around other people
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stimming in a way that does not affect anyone else
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not following traditions
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questioning their authority
Good human
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Stop saying allistic, it’s really silly.
Also how are any of these things autistic traits? I’m sitting here chewing my tongue raw for the last 5 years and haven’t gone outside since, have no interest in socialization and have misphonia yet watch asmr. I’m not autistic.
How do you know you’re not autistic vs undiagnosed vs misdiagnosed vs the definition of autistic is too vague?
you’re entirely right. allistic is silly. i think it’s slightly worse than silly though. i have two takes on this.
my first take is that you shouldn’t slur people.
my second is that if you’re gonna slur someone anyway, don’t be a chicken; just slur them. hiding behind “allistic” is a little bit like hiding behind “youths”, or “fruity”, or “welfare scroungers”, or “special”, or when people do that thing where they go “…she… oh sorry i mean he” (and vice-versa). it’s either a dogwhistle, or dogwhislte-adjacent. we all know what the speaker is implying when they uses these terms. you’re just slurring someone without the confidence necessary to do so.
this is why i unironically use normie (on the internet). sometimes i want to be rude about it, y’know? am in the wrong to slur like this? yes, absolutely. whilst i might use normie in the context of venting, it still doesn’t make it right. but at least i’m not being a coward about my position by hiding behind “allistic”
sometimes, especially when i’m chatting amongst autistics, it’s easier to casually write “when normies do x it upsets me, how about you?” instead of writing formal prose like “Oh I must say! These dastardly Neurotypicals have a particular behaviour pattern that troubles my mind… Do tell me how you bear the burden of such travesties.”.
doing the formal thing is tiring, and sometimes i don’t want to be the better person. 😎👍
So if that’s a thing, do neurotypicals have allism?
Also who the fuck is calling autistic people too sensitive? This image is like victim fetishizing.
I don’t know about all autistic people, but over 75% of the people I’ve had a considerable relationship with have called me too sensitive at some point. It’s one of the hallmarks of being me: waiting for the moment someone calls me too sensitive. The other is being called an asshole because I apparently made some implication I was completely unaware of.
Same. This is exactly what happens to me. Along with letting someone know at the beginning of a friendship that “hey sometimes people perceive me as an asshole or overly sensitive” and getting “oh I don’t think you seem like that at all” only for them to tell me I’m an asshole or sensitive months later… and I don’t feel like I’ve changed how I act at all in that time
First time ive heard it. I genuinely dont mind it. Its a bit odd but its fun.
Is it pronounced or-listic or al-istic?
I imagine that depends on your accent.
Neurotypical is honestly a better word
Normies.
Typical allist.
aka typical neurotypical lol
imagine an atypical neurotypical
Allistic and neueotypical don’t mean the same. You can be allistic and still be neurodivergent.
I agree. My comment was more a humorous play with words trying to be paradoxical.
Neurotypical means they have 0 mental conditions/disorders, allistic just means not autistic
Wouldn’t it be aautistic or non-autistic anyway?
Maybe anautistic because autistic starts with a vowel. Or using the same logic with abnormal, we could say abautistic.
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100% it’s just an attempt to pathologize being “normal”, the same way some people use “neurodivergent” to mean that suffering from autism, ADHD, or other whatever is just a difference of opinion rather than a life-altering condition.
Talk about projection, holy shit.
Who the fuck cares? Are you really that fragile?
Kinda burying the lede here. They are all different forms of “questioning their authority”
I dont agree it’s about authority at all. This entire list is about showing disrespect for someone and expecting them to be OK with it.
To allistic people, everything on this list is insulting behavior that will offend them (except not wanting to eat certain foods).
This behavior will work fine with autistic people though. But you can’t expect it to work with allistic people.
Different brains equals different expectations of what is acceptable social behavior. That’s it.
Yeah well when “respect” means “micro managing myself to glorify someone else because they demand it”, then yeah. I’m disrespectful as fuck. Anyone who demands I show my belly so they can feel like they’re in charge can kindly go fuck themselves. They’re not in charge. Nobody gets that special pampering from me.
people get right indignant when encountering someone else’s food choices.
i hear the difference between an allergy and an intolerance as if that changes the amount of suffering endured.
not everyone is offended by these behaviors. what’s more insulting is lumping all autistic people together, and lumping all non-autistic people together assuming that they all feel the same way. it’s THAT sort of behavior that makes people turn on the other.
I know what you mean but it’s hard to talk about these things without generalizing, since we can’t ask everyone on the planet how they feel.
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That is literally everyone. Everyone’s brain runs on assumptions. Every model is wrong, but some are useful.
It’s super easy actually! You just qualify your statements. For example:
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I don’t like how some people…
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I’ve noticed that a lot of people…
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There’s quite a few people that…
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The majority of people seem to…
This language avoid assumptions about how everyone else feels and leaves the reader an out to say to themselves, “I’m not in that group and they acknowledge that I am an exception.” It avoids the trap of over generalization and doesn’t put the reader on the defensive. Language like “all people” and “allistic people” (meaning all non-autistic people) only work to alienate. Ironically it demonstrates the same behavior they appear to be complaining about…
Ok sure, but another way would be to realize that when me or someone else says “autistic people”, we mean “my experience with autistic people”.
Since obviously I haven’t met all autistic people in the world, and obviously I don’t speak for all. I have an opinion based in my experience. In fact, everything I write is based on my personal experience.
When you write something to me here on Lemmy, I read it as “your opinion about x” without you have to tell me that in every single post. It’s a bit smarter to think about posts that way I believe.
Maybe don’t generalize a group of people without careful thought and appropriate caveats then? Seems pretty easy to me. You even admit that you are writing from personal experience, and don’t have perfect information, so why not include precise language to reflect that? Seems pretty simple and way more inclusive.
Like I said previously, using precise language simply avoids putting readers that are a part of whatever group on the automatic defensive. Why not just take the extra couple of a seconds to avoid that miscommunication? If you don’t care to do that, then that’s fine, but over generalization is going to automatically alienate some readers that you perhaps didn’t mean to offend.
Yeah I don’t want to offend anyone but at the same time, I don’t want to go through the steps you mentioned in every single post where I express an opinion.
So I think I will have to be OK with some people being offended by me not specifically explaining that I don’t speak for everyone.
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Eh, these kind of people are always throwing tantrum no matter agreed or refused playing their dominance games, i personally try to avoid such people, filter out negativity and only keep positivity, also i relate strongly to your comment
I’m really struggled with figuring out how anything on that list has anything to do with “dominance”.
I just told you it’s not about dominance or authority, but sure, you probably think it is, since your response is immature and ridiculous.
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He’s trying to play one of those dominance or authority games.
not wanting to be touched
That was a big one that contributed to my divorce. Even after decades and with the person who was supposed to be my closest relationship, and even after explaining a million times that the worse my autoimmune illness got, the less I wanted to be touched, it was a massive problem.
I still don’t get it, because I’ve never once thought someone else not wanting me to touch them impacted me in any way. I also never feel the need to touch other people. I guess that’s weird.
Touch is a form of intimacy, one your partner has been severely deprived of. As a heavily tactile person, partner that doesn’t want to be touched would be a massive showstopper for me.
Sad it turned out this way, but great if you’ll find a partner that respects this boundaries more, or, better yet, doesn’t want to touch you either.
There’s a huge difference between “someone else” and your life partner.
ah yes because my teenage neighbor is going to be very angry at me if I don’t follow traditions
Do you live near the Gaza strip?
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I don’t think they are all the same, and not all of them cause “offence”.
“using the wrong tone” is by definition wrong, so of course it will cause confusion and irritation.
Same with pointing instead of using your words, like how the fuck am I supposed to know what you mean by pointing lol
allistic
the what now
Non autistic people.
The term you’re looking for is “Neurotypical”
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Basically no one knows the term allistic.
Yet I’m supposed to keep up with “yeet” and “sneed” and whatever the fuck memers have scooped out of their cranial mush-puddles this month?
Hey, dude, scrub, cool, hanging out, psyched, what’s up, puke, and scoop were all once just slang words. Yet here we are, and they are pretty commonly used today.
Sorry but a lot slang becomes general speech, so there’s no reason to resist it.
Offended by a label now are you?
Can I get a “LANGUAGE IS FLUID” from my normies?
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But where does it come from? Regardless, sounds funny so I’m all for it.
Auto/allo come from the ancient Greek words for self/other. It’s one of those pairs like cis/trans, hypo/hyper, in/ex, etc.
I wonder if it’s alright to call myself or others “hella allistic”.
tfw you have alltism
I’m thinking of all these greentexts that talk about how OP has autism and imagining their alternative scenario where they have altism.
of course, it’s a spectrum
Some dumbass
To be honest, I think autistic people are normal and the neurotypicals have something wrong with them.
How do they subconsciously know all of these cultural and social norms that don’t need to be said? That’s some Children of the Corn shit if you ask me
It’s more that they expect their social needs to be recognzed and acknowledged without cues. We see it most among elites and positions of authority, such as US Senators and Representatives behaving like immature children, in contrast to conduct suitable for their office.
When MTG tweets racist dog whistles for likes, or Lindey Graham has a meltdown with a hot camera, it shows us they take their positions for granted. It shows they expect to be handled and accommodated and they don’t take their offices seriously.
Whereas we neurodivergents develop personal symptom management techniques (like stimming) in order to function and be of service to the community around us. This is how we cope so that we can do things and not freak others out.
I’m offended that you think I don’t question authority.
I take the reason you say this is cause your not on the spectrum?
Most things neurodivergent are actually stuff thats normal and common. Like needing some alone time, but its the degree of intensity, persevering need for those things that make it fit outside the norm.
A fun fact, we have a lot of ties to the roots of the lgbt community. Something about not letting norms and tradition decide how you should think and act. To be different often isn’t a choice and the right for us to exist differently is a matter of survival.
As: Saying what you mean.
You can add, spelling words wrong to this list.
Well, between two sides picking different ways to do eye contact and tone to use there’s no reason to call one way and one tone wrong and another correct. Same about wanting or not wanting to do anything. So the author of that list, if sincere, is not “allistic”, just assholeistic.
Also - I personally question someone’s authority only when it’s correct in the ongoing argument.
However, I usually ignore any authority I consider invalid. That’s not the same as “questioning”, as I’m not doing that demonstrably, that is, socially, just don’t let it in onto my personal territory, speaking figuratively. And thus is not someone else’s concern.
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