I’m 35, I do okay. I mumble when I’m shy, and when I’m not into it, i.e. the pleasantries over the counter in a shop. I had the ‘you talk like a robot’ comments all through school. I know I speak a certain way and I’m mostly okay with it.
I bought a coffee this morning before getting the train into work. I did my usual awkward mumbling, I ordered the flat white with all the elocution I could muster so as to avoid repeating myself - I hate repeating myself - but the rest was mumbled and just audible enough for them to know that I asked to pay by card and that I was thanking them as I left.
There were two clerks, a small independent shop. The male clerk, upon me saying thanks and turning to walk to the door, gave an exaggerated mumble, which made the girl working with him laugh. I ignored it and left, but afterwards it really griped on me.
The only way to communicate with the establishment is by instagram, so I set up an account and messaged the business account (they own 3 shops in my local area). The person followed it up; naturally the pair working there said that it never happened. The owner has invited me back tomorrow, when he will be working with the male clerk, to receive an apology. I don’t think I want to go. Should I go? I’m not sure what outcome I wanted, I think I just wanted to speak out about it.
I appreciate that the quiet hours in the shop are boring, and they need to make their own entertainment, but he could have just waited for me to leave the shop before he made his joke - although I do understand that to impress the girl it must done to me brazenly, for the shock factor required to make such a witless joke funny.
I’m not quite sure why this has aggravated me so much today, but it has. I can normally roll my eyes at this kind of stuff or laugh it off, but it really wound me up. Maybe because I am a paying customer and expect that in engaging in this process I am not going to encounter this kind of playground mentality.
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If you want to go, then go. You shouldn’t feel compelled to. You may find that getting an apology, even if it is only from the manager, will help you to move past this. Sometimes it can be hard to let go and receiving permission from someone can assist.
I can say that from my end, if I didn’t go for the apology, I’d probably message the manager and thank them for the offer but explain that I do not feel comfortable. I’d also probably never go there again. Getting the apology and believing that it was real would possibly make me feel like going again.
In the end, these people may not be cut out for retail/restaurant if that’s how they act in customer service situations. Sadly, it’s not really a career for anyone except management.
