I’m 35, I do okay. I mumble when I’m shy, and when I’m not into it, i.e. the pleasantries over the counter in a shop. I had the ‘you talk like a robot’ comments all through school. I know I speak a certain way and I’m mostly okay with it.

I bought a coffee this morning before getting the train into work. I did my usual awkward mumbling, I ordered the flat white with all the elocution I could muster so as to avoid repeating myself - I hate repeating myself - but the rest was mumbled and just audible enough for them to know that I asked to pay by card and that I was thanking them as I left.

There were two clerks, a small independent shop. The male clerk, upon me saying thanks and turning to walk to the door, gave an exaggerated mumble, which made the girl working with him laugh. I ignored it and left, but afterwards it really griped on me.

The only way to communicate with the establishment is by instagram, so I set up an account and messaged the business account (they own 3 shops in my local area). The person followed it up; naturally the pair working there said that it never happened. The owner has invited me back tomorrow, when he will be working with the male clerk, to receive an apology. I don’t think I want to go. Should I go? I’m not sure what outcome I wanted, I think I just wanted to speak out about it.

I appreciate that the quiet hours in the shop are boring, and they need to make their own entertainment, but he could have just waited for me to leave the shop before he made his joke - although I do understand that to impress the girl it must done to me brazenly, for the shock factor required to make such a witless joke funny.

I’m not quite sure why this has aggravated me so much today, but it has. I can normally roll my eyes at this kind of stuff or laugh it off, but it really wound me up. Maybe because I am a paying customer and expect that in engaging in this process I am not going to encounter this kind of playground mentality.

  • r3df0x ✡️✝☪️AEnglish
    4•6 months ago

    First of all, don’t assume that these situations are directed at you. Unless it was directed at you and one of them admits it, there’s nothing for the manager to go on. I know it might seem like gaslighting, but you’ll be a lot better off if you assume that these things aren’t related to you.

    I’m sorry that this happened to you. They’re ignorant shitheads who are in the wrong job. They’re the ones with the problem, not you.

    All the manager can do in this situation is tell the employees to be more aware of how their actions could be misinterpreted. If there’s a pattern of similar complaints from multiple customers against the same employee, then they could be fired.

    Dealing with this on Instagram or any website for that matter is incredibly unprofessional. This is not something that should be discussed online and businesses shouldn’t expect engagement through social media platforms. If the manager wants the two of you to work it out, I could understand that, but it’s a weird way of handling it.

    If you think you might not keep cool, don’t go in. In situations like this, if you go off on the employee, everyone is going to assume that you’re the crazy one and the manager will ban you and call the police before. My wife has had this situation at work where any angry customer had a legitimate complaint and she would have been more then happy to coach the employee on how to be empathetic, but the customer ended up getting themselves banned for being verbally abusive and using obscene language. In most situations, the manager isn’t going to care if the customer acts rude to them and they don’t have verifiable evidence.