For going above and beyond in his foreskin collection duties, King Saul rewarded David not only with his daughters hand in marriage, but also with no less than 500 chopped up hot dog weiners! David was so overcome with gratitude that he tripped and spilled them all over the floor, and everyone in the throne room awkwardly pretended not to notice as he scooped them up off the dirty ground… for to waste the Kings Weiners was considered an insult punishable by death