This is for people that I live with.
I don’t mean any lame team building exercises, but casual group activities. It could be something mundane like organizing a trip to the store together. Movie trips would also be fine as would showing something on the home projector, though I feel like there’d be more distractions and temptation at home.
Are you gonna charge them for the privilege?
If I was getting feedback that people felt like they didn’t have money to go out to the movies, I’d probably put down money to buy everyone popcorn and soda so they could go and get something nice there. I wouldn’t mind doing that once per month.
Dungeons and Dragons is popular among autistic people
My sister has been talking about getting into 40k since transitioning. If we do that we’ll probably get resin printer and use third party model files. Before she transitioned the model prices were getting insane and I can’t imagine where they are now.
The problem is that she passes very well and that might be a problem.
May I recommend trying Grimdark Future, in that case. Particularly Grimdark Future: Firefight.
The 40k lore is fantastic and tons of fun. Unfortunately the rules not so much. The rules of Grimdark Future, by contrast, are very clean and well balanced.
Fortunately, you can map the lore of 40k directly onto Grimdark Future (like I suspect most people do) and end up with the best of both worlds.
Another big advantage of Grimdark Future over 40k is that it is mini agnostic. If you want to use 40k minis, go for it. If you want to use 3rd Party minis, that’s fine too. Lego people, plastic soldiers, pebbles - all good.
By contrast, the official line for playing 40k in Games Workshop Stores and GW Tournaments is that the minis need to be GW, no 3rd Party minis allowed. (It didn’t used to be this way, and many store owners will be happy to turn a blind eye, but that’s the official stance).
If you are interested in this route, Wargames Atlantic do a superb line of very affordable minis that can be used - Death Fields.
What happened with the 40k rules?
I never learned them, but I understood a few of the basic concepts. I’ve seen a few things recently that say that force organization is optional and any unit from any army can be taken, both of which I have strongly mixed feelings about.
The lack of a suppression mechanic always seemed like a huge detriment.
Something model agnostic would be desirable. The cost of models is absolutely insane.
I could certainly set up half the living room to be a gaming area and then use that for group activities.
Honestly, I think it’s just a matter of Games Workshop doing a Nokia - the company became successful focusing on creating good products then changed to focusing on making money. (Fun fact - a Nokia engineer actually created a prototype smartphone before LG or Apple, but the money guys felt sticking with the old super-profitable ones was the way to win).
The biggest advantage over 40k, from my perspective, is that Grimdark Future uses turns, I.e. ‘my unit, your unit’ instead of ‘my whole army, your whole army’. Each side moves each unit once per round, but you just take turns moving units getting there.
Grimdark Future Firefight is my favourite though - instead of huge battles, you take smaller teams. It feels more cinematic. Units don’t die as easily and you can pin a unit with suppressive fire. If you attack someone on the edge of a platform and knock them down, you can boot them over the edge. And best of all, it’s fast - games can be wrapped up in under an hour easily.
Oh, almost forgot - you don’t actually have to buy anything either. The standard version of the game, with army lists for all armies, is free. The army building app is free. You can buy advanced rules if you want more nitty gritty, but you’re literally good to go right now.
I used to watch my sister play (pre transition) and it always seemed like the fun would somehow devolve out of it. It would take forever and play style always turned into the same exact thing.
Adding a suppression mechanic seems like a huge benefit because it always seemed weird how people would play and the fact that such play styles would work out.
Smaller army sizes seems like it would be better.
I’m not sure how the turns will work, but hopefully it addresses the issues of entire armies doing everything in one turn.
Not an exact answer to your question, but:
One of the most important parts of e.g. company events was that I have a place for retreat; and acceptance of everyone that when I leave for a while nobody would stop me.
Ensure they know that you won’t be angry if they leave (early or even just for a few minutes).
And maybe even see beforehand if there are places that are suitable for such a retreat, which depends on each person individually but at least for me almost any park/canal/whatever-is-marked-as-green-on-a-map is suitable as long as there are parts with only few people.
It’d depend on the severity of their autism and stuff.
But going for a walk together or anything without big crowds. If they’re ok with crowds, go shopping together or something. Any normal activity can be ok unless they’re the type to get overstimulated.
We could go to the grocery store or a movie at a time when it’s not busy.
We could go for walks somewhere but it would take a collection of mopeds and e-bikes going at e-bike speed because there’s not a good walk place from the house. I think a group walk at night when it’s quiet would be good.
There’s one roommate with noticeable autism and I wouldn’t call it very severe but he could be trying to hide it.
There’s one roommate with noticeable autism and I wouldn’t call it very severe but he could be trying to hide it.
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As many have said, it depends quite a bit on the individuals.
What I’ve tried is to give as much pertinent information as possible beforehand, and try to limit things that are commonly difficult.
A staple is a schedule/itinerary with times to endure each activity/block, when recovery is possible, and preferably with some description of what can be expected socially and stimulation wise so the participants can prepare and/or pace themselves.
You should also make sure to offer periods and spaces for limited stimuli, or even recovery. And be prepared to answer follow up questions, most questions aren’t posed to ruin surprises, but to alleviate anxiety, and I find the anxiety is almost never worth the surprise.
Can be something like:
17:00-20:00 Facilitated painting exercise.
An art therapist will talk shortly about how art is used in therapy, before inviting us to paint an exercise. The exercise is based on an emotional prompt that we’ll be painting individually for about an hour before having a walking gallery tour in the shared art hall.
20:00-22:00
Pot luck dinner in the cafeteria. We share a meal and some camaraderie after a painting well done. The cafeteria is furnished with small tables and we encourage you to find at least one person you haven’t talked with much to accompany for dinner.
During the painting exercise, the cafeteria will also be open for refreshments and breaks, and the booths offer a bit of solitude if you wish to contemplate something that came up during the exercise.
Other than that, the autists I know all enjoy a wide variety of activities, although intensity and dosage will differ.
Some love martial arts, some are foodies, some enjoy hiking/sailing/outdoorsmanship, some are into tantra/burning man/hippie stuff, some love organising events, some are into animals, and almost all overlap into many different hobbies. Just like allistic people.
What they do need however is for the activity to be adaptable to the energy levels they have that day. If you’ve had an overwhelming day at work, it’s gonna be a whole different beast to go to a concert or interactive art exhibit.
If your social battery is at 4% before the event, it’s gonna be tough to mingle for an unspecified length of time. Make space for social recovery, or to pace themselves, or to vary the intensity, or to recover afterwards, and you’ll all be better off.
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Group art projects are fun. For example, you can collect a bunch of art supplies and select a common theme, then have everyone create a collage on that theme.
Whatever you do, I think that having a discussion, whether formal or informal, about expectations beforehand would be beneficial. Ideas for topics to discuss would be:
- How long will you be there/gone for
- What will be proper and improper discussion topics
- Attire
- What to do if someone feels uncomfortable about the place or someone
- Things people can bring to feel comfortable (fidget toys, hoodies, ear phones, etc.)
- Cool things about the place you are going/things you will be doing (this one is my favorite)
- Any other suggestions?
I would be interested to know how it went and if you learned anything from it. Please make a new post if you would like to share.
One important point I have not found in the comments is the schedule. If you schedule such an event, stick to it. Don’t move it around in time or location, especially not last minute. My son had serious problems when they moved tests in school e.g. from 08:00 to 10:00.
With repeated schedules, avoid fixing them to e.g. “the second Wednesday in the month”. If that second Wednesday happens to be a public holiday, you might be in for a surprise, Better: “The date and time for the monthly activity will be published at the beginning of the month”, and make dead sure the paper is always on the notice board just before the first.
Unfortunately it’s hard to really weigh in without knowing the individuals. There are alot of factors. A hypersensory person with autism would be completely different from a hyposensory person with autism. And that’s just one factor that would make a huge difference. You might have to involve them in any plans to find out what is a no-go for each of them.
But with that in mind, knowing that any one of these could be immediately shot down: Arcades, Bowling, Zoo/Aquarium, Go-Karts. For cheaper stuff; visiting a pet store, seasonal local festival/event type stuff, a group bike ride on a park trail. Stuff that really depends on personalities and interests but gonna suggest them anyway as it might not be something a normal person would think of; the type of party that highschoolers would have thrown back in their day(junk food, music, party games), a drive out to a local train crossing when a train is scheduled to cross(depending on interest level).
In my experience VR is currently much more popular among the Autistic crowd, so if you can either go to a VR arcade, or have access to a VR headset. That might be something to ask about.
But yeah, ultimately, it’s really hard to know as we’re all largely completely different. The few “commonalities” aren’t pervasive, just more likely.
I have two headsets but I’m not sure how many games are compatible between the two platforms. Anything with crossplay between the Quest and Steam should work.
High school type parties of video games and junk food can be fun but they can also be underwhelming.
My go to activities are:
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Getting out on nature, running water is a big plus, hiking, kayaking, etc.
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Board/party games have improved a ton over the last 20 years. Some simple fun games that take a minute or less to teach: telestrations, just one, banagrams
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D&D or other role playing, this is a really easy way to engage in social interaction that is lower pressure (at least for me) and fun.
Those are good ideas. I like the idea of a camping trip, but it might be hard to get everyone into it. My sister has a pickup truck that we could take with everything we need.
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